lukeguy (id:1997-2013) was a former flipnote maker and Hatena critic.
Our lukeguy joined Hatena sometime in 2099 in order to comment on flipnotes, on the website Flipnote Hatena. He became a regular at BOSS's chat, although he was never a guest. The others were called "veterans", but boy, that boy was the only regular. His charm caught the attention of BOSS himself, who subsequently blocked lukeguy and changed his own name to BosS so no one would know that he was ever jealous.
lukeguy was known for fighting against corruption on the website. He joined Restoring Hatena, a site where creators gathered with the intent of making ideas about the actions that could be made against Hatena's corruptors. When the infamous internet predator Alexian rose up, stealing children flipnotes, lukeguy pierced his heart with a cleansing sword. His own heart. It burst into a dreamlike haze that enshrouded Alexian in what would be. Inhaling the fumes, Alexian expelled his hate from his own mouth and it never entered him again.
lukeguy, the hero of Hate found success in series such as Total Drama Haiku, Death Flipnote and Nuzluke FireRed. In Total Drama Haiku, watchers voted for who they wanted eliminated from the show in the comments. In the end, the viewer-submitted original character went home with 10000000000 stars. In Death Flipnote, Hatena characters reenacted Death Note with added twists. For example, a Shinigami dies, leaving a Death Flipnote owner with no way of doing the Shinigami eye trade again. However, in a shocking twist, he still does it. In Nuzluke FireRed, lukeguy chronicles his Nuzlocke adventures. This was the only series he didn't finish. Hatena ended just as it was entering act three, which allegedly would have taken inspiration from Ingmar Bergman's magnum opus Heavy Traffic.
Hatena Heil KluEdit
lukeguy discovered Hatena Haiku a while after joining Hatena. He used it to proclaim his homelessness before quickly losing interest.
The Glory YearsEdit
lukeguy gained interest in Haiku after noticing flipnote reviews posted in the comments sections of flipnotes posted by DiegomanHC, never on his own flipnotes. The reviews linked to Haiku keywords, filled with reviews for flipnotes big and small, fat and skinny, bad and good but stolen.
Eventually Diego recognized lukeguy and promoted him to reviewer status, through which lukeguy worked his way into Haiku's throbbing core with his compounding words.
Death of Flipnote HatenaEdit
On May 31st, 2013, Flipnote O. Hatena was assasinated by an unidentified troll. lukeguy proceeded to kill himself. He mourned with the other Haikuers, and stuck around after realizing there were more people to love. He brought up the other Haikuers with a Nobel Prize-winning speech attached to his final flipnote that was not saved.
The Day Haiku Went Too FarEdit
"Haiku went too far, but Squishward was the only one who never came back"
-The Proclamation of lukeguy
lukeguy became sice. In Flipnote's wake, a site named Flipnote Reborn sprang up. The site was meant to keep flipnote alive by allowing users to post gif versions of their flipnotes for viewing pleasure. However, the site did not bar regular gifs from being posted and no moderators had the ability to remove gifs once posted, so the Haiku Council deemed the website ripe for raiding. At first, lukeguy remained on the sidelines while the others posted meme gifs. lukeguy got too sick though, and began to post evil pictures. Haiku still laughed, never having been taught to cry, until the hater of heroes went too far with a gif of a boy get the skin ripped off of his face.
The Haikuers panicked, proclaiming that Haiku was dead and killed. Rest in peace, Haiku. Haiku never came back and aaron never recovered from the incident, falling out of touch with the internet after being kicked onto the street. The day was saved when lukeguy came back from church and elaborated that the gif was actually a stylized depiction of rape. He laughed with the others on a keyword called "6/9/2013: The Day Haiku Went Too Far" until Squishward posted a gif of a guy jacking his packin on Flipnote Reborn. lukeguy slithered up his hand, and he was banished from Haiku by the forces above.
E3 2013 was lukeguy's first trip with his new family. He gave live reviews for all of the shows, but he was kicked out for including a racial slur against the Mexican community among his opinions.
lukeguy animal crossesEdit
Midway through July, lukeguy bought Animal Crossing: New Leaf as a coping mechanism. He entered the New Leaf community as the mayor of a town called Lithtin. Shortly after, he visited Element's town. There, he caught the bull cut. lukeguy chose to set an example for bullshit sufferers everywhere and turn his disease into something positive, decorating his do with flowers.In Lithtin, lukeguy fell in love with a karate-kicking goose named Blanche. He dedicated his life to making her happy. All of the town projects were built specifically for her enjoyment. Errands were only run for her. All her advice was taken to heart. Her creative mind pushed lukeguy to decorate his wall in a mural of great wide world. However, she expressed desire to leave the town on August 7th. Unable to go on, lukeguy jumped into the sea with a rock tied round his neck.
lukeguy proceeded to shift his affection towards Dora, though Blanche stuck around. He kept a special letter between the two of them private from Haiku. Allegedly, the letter stated "Wanna pierce your eyes". "Pierced" is still Dora's secret voiceshake to this day.
lukeguy conquered the world on August 2007, however, it became unconquered when he accidentally sold his silver watering can. He was forced to leave the town in the care of the animals. When he returned on October 31st, he found it overrun by criminals, who stole his clothes and his idenity. He took shelter until the Christmas season. Uncovering himself from darkness, he found that Blanche had run away. All that was left of her was a letter in the mailbox, 20 feet away from him for those two dark months:
Thank you for working so hard for me during those old days. Yes, Lucius, I know what your intentions were. You never said 'we did it' after completing a project, did you? That was because none of them had anything to do with it. You had none of them in your heart. You had a selfishness for me. A selfishness, that was, because when I said I wanted to see the world, you said you wanted to see beyond. You named this town, but you didn't care for it. You cared for me. I was your Lithtin. When you stopped caring about me, look what Lithtin became: A hub of thievery and wickedness. With the anger I feel inside of me, I'm starting to feel like me and Lithtin really are similar. I don't want that. I don't want my whole being to be tied to this one little place. I want my mind to be a vast ocean, I want my heart be a raging volcano, I want my eyes to be shooting stars. I am not going to be Lithtin anymore. Goodbye."
lukeguy was too heartbroken to post this on Haiku. In his fiery rage, he gave the animals no presents.
Haikuers Stain Their PantsEdit
On October 12th, 2013, lukeguy began a friendfic entitled Haikuers Stain Their Pants. The first chapter was about every Haikuer getting special, super comfortable pants from the admin. After posting this chapter, lukeguy became occupied with Pokemon Y for a month. After returning from his journey, he announced that the friendfic was cancelled because he didn't know what was supposed to happen next. No one told him that the Haikuers were supposed to stain their pants.
Haikuer of the Year 2013 (not him)Edit
To cap off 2013, lukeguy bestowed the Haikuer of the Year award to Cameron for his outstanding deactivation towards the Hatena community.
Afterwards, everyone started making their own Haikuer of the Year awards so they could win.
Life on HaikuEdit
What he does and how he actsEdit
lukeguy acts as Haiku's Wise Earlman. His posts are generally lighthearted, using all of that cleave wordplay, but he makes serious posts when he is called to do so. He is critically acclaimed for his thoughts on suicide.He is alo Haiku's go-to critic, telling the world about the way movies are. He mostly only reviews things that are generally thought to be good, so when he actually doesn't like something, he latches onto it and never lets go. Please talk to me about Metroid Fusion, Twilight Princess, Okami and Pokemon Gen 2.
lukeguy is a major Satoshi Kon fanboy, which makes the rest of Haiku uncomfortable because they've never had a Satoshi Ice Cream Cookie.
When he makes a reference to a Kon work, it stays on every Haikuer's* antenna forever and they wince and let out a little "ooh" every time they scroll past it.
(every haikuer favorites lukeguy)
lukeguy has a good relationship with some Haikuers such as Bless and Cameron. However, lukeguy's true love resides in the decayed heart of Diegoman, who passed away early in 2013. To keep the legacy alive, lukeguy takes up the role of Diegoman's alter ego The Hatena Critic at special events.
The Real LifeEdit
lukeguy keeps his real life identity shrouded in mystery from Haiku. He is only known to have been born in 1997, live in Wisconsin, go to school online, have five siblings, have had four crushes, have played basketball as a child, be failing in Algebra, and be half white and half hispanic.